


Captain America 3: The Cupcake War

by GoDownWithThisShip



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Baking, Cupcake Wars - Freeform, Cupcakes, Dick Jokes, Fix-It, Food Network Challenge, Gen, honestly this is literally just self indulgence at this point, in case you're still upset about civil war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoDownWithThisShip/pseuds/GoDownWithThisShip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang goes on Food Network to participate in the Cupcake War</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain America 3: The Cupcake War

**Author's Note:**

> I literally started writing this after seeing Avengers 2 and I FINALLY finished it... I really was not expecting it to be over 10k words?? This was supposed to be a drabble?  
> It's just supposed to be light-hearted and fun and a good time all around. Perfect for those who are still SUFFERING after Civil War (like me lmao)
> 
> Also, a little heavy handed anti-HYDRA stuff in there. At the time there was issues within the fandom but now it's still unfortunately relevant bc of the recent issue of Captain America :\

"So you guys know you're getting beat right?" Sam Wilson grinned at the group of superheroes waiting to take the stage and step into the baking kitchen.

 

"Oh really?" Steve turned around with a raised brow and a smug smile.

 

"Yeah, Rogers. Really. When's the last time you _baked_ something _?"_

 

Steve shrugged. "How hard can it be?"

 

"This isn't the 1940s anymore. You know we've got a lot of new technology now." Natasha pointed to some of the shiny metal appliances. "For example, that's called an oven."

 

"Ha ha," Steve replied, "Hilarious." He turned back around to face the kitchen.

 

In that moment the host appeared behind the group, seemingly starstruck, and adjusting his blazer in an antsy sort of way. "Hello, Avengers!" He greeted them cheerfully. "I assume the producers have given you a few instructions."

 

"Aye!" Thor replied joyfully.

 

The host took a step back, still smiling shakily at the group. "Good. Good. So you know your cues?"

 

Everyone murmured in response. How hard could it be, right?

 

"Okay! Good luck, bakers!" He hustled past the group and into the kitchen where he conversed in quick, lowered voices with the camera men.

 

"They say our names and we go out smiling, right?" Bruce asked uncertainly from the back of the group.

 

"That is how they made it seem," Pietro replied with a shrug. "I don't understand. How does this competition work?"

 

"We make cupcakes," Wanda replied. "Doesn't seem difficult."

 

She was shushed by a nearby stage hand and she glared back at him.

 

The host's voice echoed against the brightly colored walls in the kitchen. "Tonight we have a **very** special show for you! The winner of tonight's cupcake war will have their creations featured at a charity ball hosted by the one and _only_ Tony Stark! The usual ten thousand dollar prize will be donated to the charity chosen by the winners. Our contestants themselves are known to be heroes in the street, but can they be heroes in the kitchen? We'll just have to see, but for now let's meet our very special judges!"

 

He stepped over to the judge's table with a sparkling smile on his face. "We originally asked for Nicolas Fury, director of SHIELD…but we were informed that he is actually deceased. So instead tonight, we have the beautiful Maria Hill joining us!"

 

Maria's smile was tight, but surprisingly genuine. "SHIELD is happy for the opportunity to support this charity event." Nobody could deny the agency was in real need for public support, especially after recent bungles and scandals. However, Maria seemed to be actually excited to participate. "This show's actually one of my guilty pleasures," she added with a laugh.

 

The host laughed as well. "Awesome! Awesome." He gestured to the seat next to her. "We also have Pepper Potts! CEO of Stark Industries. You look lovely tonight!"

 

Pepper smiled at him and nodded. "Stark Industries may be a corporation, but that doesn't mean we don't have the public's interests in mind. We hope to show the public that we do, in fact, have a heart."

 

"And next to her, Tony Stark!" The host's smile did not waver.

 

"Aren't you going to mention how good I look, too?" Tony asked. He glanced over the top rim of his aviator sun glasses to smirk at the judge.

 

The judge laughed uncomfortably before continuing, "So tell us what your charity event is going to be supporting?"

 

"I think that's a question for Ms. Potts. She's the one that put the whole thing together. I mean I had some creative input. Alcohol selection. Decorations. Entertainment. That sort of thing."

 

Pepper interjected, "The Maria Stark Foundation will be benefitting from the charity ball. As you know proceeds from the foundation go to philanthropic efforts around the globe. We work on rebuilding and improving infrastructure, providing help during natural disasters, and now we're working on expanding our scope of aid in order to benefit more people."

 

"Well said. Amazing," Tony said, beaming at her.

 

"And our fourth judge is Colonel James Rhodes. Good evening, sir."

 

"Hello," Rhodey nodded to a camera man with a smile. "Really looking forward to this."

 

"Really? Because I'm sure half the team has never set foot in a kitchen," Tony interjected causing chuckles to erupt from the judges table.

 

The host chuckled along uncertainly. "We'll see how this all plays out. Our cupcake makers are going to have to make it through three rounds. The first round will feature specific ingredients and our bakers will have to use these ingredients to make a delectable treat. They will be judged solely on taste. In the second round, they will be judged on both taste and presentation. In the final round, their challenge will be to create a vibrant display that will show off one thousand cupcakes. Let's meet our bakers." The camera men changed angles briefly, most likely for the purpose of transition.

 

"Our first pair of bakers are the infamous Steve Rogers and James Barnes better known as Captain America and 'Bucky'."

 

The two took the stage, Bucky looking somewhat uncomfortable and Steve beaming at the blank camera lenses.

 

The interview they had recorded prior to the show would later be edited in:

 

_"I think doing the cupcake war is really important to us," Steve began. He and Bucky were seated side by side on a leather couch. His arm was thrown casually over the back of the sofa and beside him Bucky's posture was relatively loose although his expression was unreadable._

 

_"You've probably seen a lot of me in the news lately," Bucky said slowly. "And I'm just here to change what the Winter Soldier stands for and hopefully show everyone that I'm…okay to be on the team."_

 

_"Also we are definitely going to win," Steve quickly changed the tone of the conversation by smiling at his friend._

 

_"I didn't know you could bake," Bucky replied with a raised brow._

 

_"I thought- I thought_ **_you_ ** _knew how to bake…"_

 

_Bucky let out a throaty laugh and Steve joined him. "Oh wow! We're fu-" The interview cut before the final word could air._

 

* * *

 

"Next we've got a sibling duo! Please welcome the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver!" The pair stepped out into the studio's vibrant lights. Pietro was smiling broadly, and giving little waves to the cameras while Wanda blinked against the brightness.

 

In the final cut of the show, their interview was edited in:

 

_"Our home was basically destroyed when we were children." Pietro was speaking while casually slumped against the couch. Wanda nodded beside him._

 

_"It has been decades and while it has been mostly rebuilt, there is still much to do and much to improve," she said. "We would like to use the ten thousand dollars to give back. You know?"_

 

_"And who doesn't like some friendly competition, huh?" Pietro nudged her side with his elbow._

 

_She laughed. "It won't be much competition. We are going to win."_

 

_Pietro threw his head back to laugh and the interview cut._

 

_\-----_

 

"Our next pair of competitors are _the_ Black Widow and Falcon!"

 

Natasha and Sam entered the room. Both boasted confident swaggers and wide smiles. Their interview was edited in for the final cut of the show:

 

_"Yeah, I've got a little baking experience," Sam said, grinning at the camera._

 

_"Seriously?" Natasha raised a brow at him._

 

_"Are you kidding me?" Sam turned to face her. "I thought you read everyone's file like ten times!"_

 

_"I did!" She laughed. "Yours didn't say anything about baking experience."_

 

_Sam turned back to face the camera with an exaggerated expression of shock. "Wow. I am appalled... I am offended." He shook his head._

 

_"Where did you pick up baking?"_

 

_"My mom! She's incredible. Her recipes were out of this world. Honestly, she taught me everything I know." He grinned at her. "I bet you have some crazy culinary skills you picked up from a mission or something, right?"_

 

_Natasha shrugged. "I might have a few tricks up my sleeves."_

 

_Sam punched the air triumphantly. "We are_ **_so_ ** _winning this thing!"_

 

_"Proceeds going to Saint Jude's Children's Hospital," Natasha added quickly. "Just so they know it's going to a good cause." The interview cut to resume with the current events in the kitchen._

 

* * *

 

"Our final bakers are really…out of this world." The host spoke in disbelief as if he was still processing the facts he was announcing. "Please welcome Bruce Banner, alter ego of the incredible Hulk and Asguardian Prince Thor!"

 

Thor strutted out, one of his muscly arms draped around Bruce's thin shoulders. He waved jovially to the cameras while Bruce smiled nervously at his side. Their interview was edited in for the final edit:

 

_"I am not familiar with Midguardian methods of baking!" Thor was grinning broadly._

 

_"Honestly, neither am I," Bruce added._

 

_Thor's laughter boomed around the small, brightly colored room. "Do not, Fret! You are what they call a scientist. It cannot be too difficult for us to figure out."_

 

_Bruce laughed quietly. "You'd think that. But, well-we'll see. I spent a lot of time in Kolkata and I'd like to use today's winnings to improve the healthcare system. Better facilities, medicine, technology. That sort of thing." The interview cut off there._

 

* * *

 

"So in round one," the host began as the pairs got settled at their stations. "You will be able to choose from this table of ingredients." He stepped over to a table draped with a red cloth and adorned with various decorations including a miniature New York skyline and cardboard cut outs of some of their previous enemies. "Each set of ingredients was inspired by a villain you guys have squared off against. You must pick one villain and work with the set of ingredients associated with that villain."

 

A camera man jogged over to the table and knelt down to get close up shots of each set of ingredients. "For Loki, trickster and brother to Thor, we have Absinthe and lime. For the alien race named Chitauri you all battled in New York we have Viniq liqueur and Crunch Berry Cereal." (The final edit cut to Wanda and Pietro glancing at each other with confused looks and uncertainly muttering). "The next set of ingredients was inspired by a recent enemy, HYDRA. You will find red wine and Pomegranate."

 

The final edit would show Natasha and Sam turning to glance at Steve and Bucky's station with displeased expressions. The camera panned to show Steve looking absolutely livid and Bucky appearing as though he had swallowed something distasteful. A short interview with Steve, Natasha, Bucky, and Sam would follow:

 

_"Seriously?" Steve was livid. "Okay, Loki was a lunatic and he cost a lot of people their lives and nearly leveled a city."_

 

_"Poking a little fun at him and the Chitauri…a little dark, but possibly cathartic," Natasha added._

 

_"But HYDRA?" The volume of Steve's voice increased. "Do they know how much_ **_pain_ ** _and_ **_death_ ** _HYDRA has caused? For decades! Even today!"_

 

_Bucky remained silent at Steve's side, his face still twisted into a disgusted expression._

 

_"I don't really think people understand the magnitude of how terrible organizations like HYDRA are," Natasha commented. "And I hope they do a little research."_

 

_"It's f(censoring tone)d up," Sam added, looking angry. "Literal Nazis, man." The interview would end there._

 

"The final set of ingredients was inspired by your most recent enemy, Ultron. We have Fireball Whiskey and cinnamon hard candy. You will have forty five minutes to complete this round and your time starts…NOW!"

 

The Avengers crowded around the ingredient table to inspect their choices. "Why do all of the choices have booze in them?" Sam asked.

 

The camera panned over to focus on Tony who merely smirked and shrugged. "I might have had some creative input."

 

Sam and Natasha were the first to return to their stations. "I really liked the Viniq. It was like a galaxy in a glass," Natasha remarked, pulling on a black apron bearing a red hourglass insignia on the chest.

 

"I've never really worked with Viniq or Absynthe," Sam replied, pulling on his apron which was a deep red with a white bird on the front. "Also, what is this supposed to be?" He pointed at the bird.

 

"It's a falcon," Natasha replied, "Or so I would think."

 

"Looks more like a pigeon to me," he mumbled under his breath.

 

"How do you feel about the Fireball and Cinnamon?" Natasha asked.

 

"I think we should do a chocolate cake with a cinnamon-y Fireball filling and some crushed Cinnamon candy on top for texture or whatever."

 

"Wow, you really _do_ know what you're doing," Natasha replied grinning at him. "What kind of frosting? I think we should go either chocolate or coffee. Balance everything out."

 

"I'm thinking coffee is probably better just because we've already got the chocolate cake."

 

"Sounds good." The two high-fived before quickly getting to work.

 

* * *

 

As they conversed, Pietro dashed back to his station. Well- it was almost as though he had teleported. His sister jogged behind him. "We need to work together," she reminded him, pulling on her apron. It was customized to be a dark red with a black lightning bolt insignia. "I do not understand this." She motioned to the design.

 

Her brother was already wearing his. It was a blue color with a silver lightning bolt. "We match!"

 

Wanda laughed. "It appears that we do. But right now we have more important things to discuss. These ingredients are…odd."

 

"They said make cupcakes and I said no problem," Pietro chuckled. "Now, I can sort of see why Americans watch this sort of show. Not as easy as it sounds. The Viniq was…pretty. We should use it in the frosting."

 

"But cereal?" Wanda replied. "I would say put it on top, but that does not seem creative enough."

 

"Perhaps we can crush it up. Make it into a powder and mix it in the batter."

 

"You can work on that," Wanda said, crouching down to retrieve a mixer from the bottom shelf of their station. "I will make the frosting."

 

* * *

 

Almost simultaneously Bruce and Hulk were donning their aprons. Bruce's was a forest green on top and a grape color on the bottom. Thor's was a shade of red that clashed wonderfully with his cape and featured a silver Mjolnir on the front. "Absinthe is one of Midguard's stronger spirits!" Thor remarked.

 

"Yes. H-how did you know-" Bruce began. "Never mind. So how about key lime cupcakes with Absinthe frosting?"

 

"Sounds delicious! Where do we start?"

 

Bruce turned about to look at the various mechanisms at their station. "Uh…that's what I'm still trying to figure out."

 

* * *

 

Steve and Bucky were the last to make it back to their station. "What's the plan?" Bucky asked, leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest.

 

"I dunno, you tell me," Steve replied.

 

"I thought you were in charge." Bucky was openly smirking now.

 

Steve threw his head back and let out a laugh. "Oh wow we really are in trouble."

 

"Don't tell me you're already struggling, Rogers!" Sam called from his station. He was busily adding ingredients to the mixing bowl on his counter.

 

"Oh please! We're just letting everyone get a head start. It's only fair you know," Steve replied with a cocky grin.

 

"Uh huh, whatever you say, Cap," Sam replied, turning the mixer on and carefully watching the contents of the bowl.

 

"What about the Fireball and Cinnamon?" Bucky asked and Steve turned to face him. "We could swing that."

 

"Definitely," Steve replied, rubbing his hands together. "Let's keep it simple. Maybe a vanilla cake with fireball frosting and crush the candies and just sprinkle them over the top."

 

* * *

 

At that point everyone was working quickly at their respective stations. The camera men were positioned strategically in order to capture all of the action. "Where'd the Fireball go?" Natasha whipped around, scanning the countertop with her eyes.

 

"You were the last one using it," Sam reminded her, still watching the batter in the mixing bowl.

 

"I put it down-" she motioned to the empty spot on the counter "-right there!" She was looking at Sam with an expression of confusion and frustration.

 

Sam turned around and frowned. "Nat are you feeling okay?"

 

Her eyebrows pulled together. "Yeah why?" She glanced over to the counter and saw the bottle sitting exactly where she had left it. "But-" She glanced around quickly before addressing the camera man in front of their station. "Did you see that?"

 

He shrugged, the camera on his shoulder moved with the motion.

 

She snatched the bottle up and began pouring it into the butter cream mix while muttering under her breath and glancing around.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile Bruce was frantically writing out calculations on a piece of scrap paper. Thor was looking on behind him. "Is this truly necessary? The others are simply mixing the ingredients together."

 

"We need to figure out how much of each we need so that we can have the perfectly bound cake with the right texture and consistency. The temperature is also an important factor. I haven't got to that part yet…"

 

"It's not rocket science, Doctor Banner," Tony called over from the judges table.

 

"Yes I know. This is much more difficult!" Bruce replied loudly.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Bucky was hurriedly mixing batter in a bowl. "Needs more eggs, Steve!" he called over his shoulder.

 

"Alright, catch!"

 

A moment later Bucky was standing with a mixing bowl tucked under his metal arm and in his other hand a cracked shell and gooey, yellow mess. He stood there, silent for a few moments looking unamused. Steve could not stop laughing.

 

* * *

 

"This is your thirty minute warning!" The host announced.

 

"Cupcakes going in!" Sam called over his shoulder, sliding the metal tray into the oven. "How are we doing on the other stuff."

 

"Frosting is good," Natasha replied, looking into the bowl of buttercream. "Just need to get the filling done!"

 

* * *

 

"Friend Banner!" Thor was stumbling around the kitchen. "Where is the mixing contraption?"

 

Bruce did not look up from his calculations. "Check under the counter."

 

Thor was on his hands and knees, looking through the devices under the counter. "I do not see it!"

 

"It's around, Thor." Bruce's voice was wary as he angrily crossed out a line of numbers. Thor stood up and continued to search.

 

"I'm not so su-" Thor was cut off as he was thrown off balance. He fell to the floor with a loud thump followed by a crash as he inevitably knocked kitchen ware off the counter. His expression was one of confusion and anger. "What is the meaning of this!" The object that had caused him to trip was the very mixing machine he was searching for.

 

* * *

 

"Something's definitely going on here," the host said quietly as he leaned against the judge's table.

 

"You know what I think you're right," Maria replied leaning forward to speak quietly. "Did you notice Nat's thing with her bottle of Fireball."

 

"Her attention to detail is really amazing," Pepper added. "I can't imagine her overlooking something like that."

 

"And now Thor's falling over?" Maria replied. "Where did that mixer even come from?"

 

"I think we need to review some of our footage," the host said and in the final cut the following sequence was edited in:

 

_The footage was incredibly slowed down. At Steve's station an egg was soaring slowly through the air before making contact with Bucky's hand. The egg exploded against his palm and his fingers curled around the broken shell. In that moment Pietro's form entered the shot. At the speed of the shot, it appeared he was running at a quick pace._

 

_The next shot showed Natasha mixing buttercream at her station, the bottle of Fireball situated next to her on the counter. Pietro ran over and snatched the bottle from sight. After Natasha brought the missing bottle to Sam, Pietro appeared again to set the bottle on the counter once more._

 

"Incredible," Tony remarked, peering at the small LED screen replaying footage for the judges. "I like his style." The four judges were leaning over the table to get a look at the camera man's camera. The next scene portrayed Pietro running up to move the mixer to the floor behind Thor. Thor's slow-motion fall had Tony openly laughing.

 

"It's still cheating, though," Rhodey remarked.

 

"Eh, not really. Looks like he's just having a little fun," Tony replied, obviously struggling to contain his laughter.

 

"Seriously?" Pepper turned to look at him.

 

"What?" Tony shrugged. "It's not like he's stealing ingredients or sabotaging anyone too bad. He's just kidding around. I can respect that." He wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye.

 

Pepper and Maria exchanged a look. Pepper's face read _see what I have to deal with_ while Maria's was more of a _oh honey I am so sorry_.

 

* * *

 

"Okay cupcake makers, this is your fifteen minute warning!" the host called out as the timer at the back of the room read 15:00 in large red numbers.

 

"We gotta put something in the oven," Bucky said, glancing over Steve's shoulder at their lumpy batter.

 

"Alright, here we go!" Steve moved to pour the contents of the mixerr into the metal cupcake tray on the counter.

 

"It seems like everyone else kind of…you know measured their batter out."

 

"It kinda sounds like you're telling me what to do," Steve replied.

 

"Just a friendly suggestion." Bucky shrugged while looking at the clock. "You're the boss. Also, we're cutting it pretty close, don't you think?"

 

"We're fine," Steve replied nonchalantly as he filled the last cup with batter. "Gonna get this in the oven and we can work on the other stuff." He dashed over to the oven and slid the tray in. "What temperature are we supposed to set this for?"

 

* * *

 

At the judge's table, Maria leaned over to whisper to Pepper, "I can't believe they're _just_ now getting their cakes in the oven. How will they have time?"

 

"I mean, Thor and Bruce haven't gotten their cakes in yet either. I'm really nervous for them," Pepper replied.

 

"I like to whisper too," Tony added unnecessarily.

 

* * *

 

"How are those cakes looking?" Sam called over his shoulder as he added ingredients to their filling.

 

Natasha strode over to the oven and opened it up. "They look tasty." She pressed a toothpick through the center of one of the cakes and pulled it up. "Still a little wet, though."

 

"That's fine, we're doing good on time. You should crush up the candy so when the time comes we can just slap it on."

 

"Getting a little bossy," Natasha remarked moving to stand next to him. She laid out a long piece of saran wrap. "I'm not used to people telling me what to do." She reached over to pluck a handful of candy from a glass bowl on the counter and lay them out on the saran wrap. He looked up to find her smirking playfully and he couldn't help but laugh.

 

"Sorry, your highness, queen of the universe. Will you pretty please crush up those candies so we may garnish our cupcakes quickly and smoke our competition?" Sam's voice was coated in sarcasm.

 

"It would be my pleasure." She grinned at him before crushing the candy on the counter.

 

* * *

 

"Ten minutes!" the host announced.

 

Bruce opened up the oven to look at the metal tray containing lumpy cupcake batter. "Thor this isn't going to cook." He exhaled shakily. His knuckles were white as he gripped the handle.

 

"Worry not!" Thor stooped down to produce Mjolnir from beneath their counter.

 

"Thor?" Bruce turned around, his eyes widening as he caught sight of the hammer. "How did you sneak that in here? Also, what are you doing?"

 

"Step aside!" He began swinging the hammer over his head.

 

"Thor!" Maria was standing now.

 

"That's not a good idea, bud," Tony said.

 

The lights flickered and the camera's died momentarily. In the final cut the host's commentary would be added in:

 

_"During this time, the studio temporarily lost electricity. The competition was momentarily pause as technical issues were resolved. The following footage was recorded after the cameras and audio were up and running again."_

 

"Is that…against the rules? Would they be disqualified?" Pepper spoke quietly to the other judges.

 

"It's not really in the rules," the host chimed in. "We've never had that happen before."

 

"I mean, if we're letting Quicksilver run around the kitchen and Scarlet Witch do…well that-" Rhodey gestured over to the twins' station to show Scarlet Witch pulling cupcakes out of the blast chiller by motioning with her hands. The tray landed neatly on the counter and she began pulling the cakes from the tray. "I don't think we can disqualify Thor for using _his_ powers."

 

"I mean, why not let Bruce hulk out while we're at it," Tony replied loudly.

 

"I would rather not have that happen." Bruce was glaring from his station.

 

"You have five minutes! Time to wrap everything up!"

 

* * *

 

"Would you like to do the honors?" Wanda handed Pietro the piping bag filled with glittery purple frosting.

 

Pietro grinned and took the bag from her. Within a blink of an eye the tops of their cupcakes were sporting neat swirls of frosting. Slowed down footage would later be edited in to show Pietro piping the frosting carefully and wiping down any mess on the plate.

 

The two smiled at each other before Pietro pulled his sister into a tight one-armed hug.

 

* * *

 

"These are a little burnt," Bruce muttered to himself as he turned a cupcake over in his hand.

 

"My apologies." Thor looked genuinely remorseful.

 

Bruce shrugged. "I wasn't expecting to bring home first place. I'm just really glad I didn't…you know lose control I guess."

 

Thor clapped Bruce on the back. "It was a valiant effort."

 

"One minute warning!" The host's voice interrupted their moment.

 

* * *

 

Sam was quickly piping frosting onto their cupcakes. As he finished each swirl, Natasha quickly sprinkled the tops with crushed candy. They were an incredibly efficient assembly line.

 

* * *

 

As the host was counting down the final seconds, various flashes of the contestants putting the last details on their cakes were montaged together and set to a dramatic tune. Bucky and Steve were slathering frosting directly out of the mixer and onto their cakes at this point because there was no time for anything fancy. Bruce and Thor too were frantically trying to make their cakes look presentable. Sam and Natasha were finished and looking down at their cupcakes with expressions of glowing pride. Meanwhile at their station in the back corner of the room, Pietro and Wanda were watching their competition with smug grins. Their finished cupcakes situated neatly on plates before them.

 

"Times up! Everybody back away from your plates!"

 

* * *

 

The final cut of the show would feature various interviews of the pairs:

 

_"I was looking down at that plate," Steve recalled for the interviewer, "And I was just thinking, wow we really pulled that one out of our a(censoring tone)."_

 

_"They weren't pretty," Bucky added._

 

_"Oh, yeah, definitely not. I was also pretty glad I wasn't the one tasting them."_

 

* * *

 

_"I looked around the kitchen and I thought to myself," Pietro began, "We're going to win this thing."_

 

_Wanda laughed. "I was nervous coming into the competition, but at least we can leave knowing we did not do something like taking the power out."_

 

_Pietro held his hand over his side as he laughed heartily._

 

* * *

 

_"Am I proud of what I put on the plate?" Bruce asked. "No. Am I proud of the effort I put in? Also probably no. But did I have fun?" He glanced over at Thor who was grinning back at him. "Yeah maybe a little."_

 

_"I too had fun!" Thor replied, clapping a hand to Bruce's shoulder. "I have learned so much about how Midguardians prepare food. You have so many contraptions to make such simple dishes! It is truly incredible."_

 

_"I feel the same way, actually," Bruce replied. "I have a newfound respect for people who do this kind of stuff on a daily basis."_

 

* * *

 

_Natasha and Sam were both looking very satisfied. "Yeah I think we're definitely the strongest competitors here today," Sam said._

 

_"I mean…maybe we need to be worried about going against the twins," Natasha added. "They were done way before the end of the round."_

 

_"They also have crazy super powers," Sam added. "But I think we can still win this-" he looked directly into the camera "-fair and square."_

 

* * *

 

The teams were crowded in front of the judge's table. "You know, usually we have one representative from each team come forward," the host said. Each hero turned to stare at him. "Okay, you know or not. So first up is Thor and Bruce, please tell us what we have today."

 

"We made a key lime cupcake with Absinthe frosting," Bruce replied.

 

"Enjoy!" Thor added in a joyful, loud voice.

 

Each judge picked up their silverware and dug into the cupcake. After a few moments the host prompted, "So, what do we think? Maria?"

 

"The cake itself would have been very nice, however it was definitely dry and burnt. Especially at the top. Your frosting, however was a surprise. I wasn't expecting to like…Absinthe but wow. That being said, you put your frosting on while your cake was still hot so-" The camera man zoomed in on the cupcake to show the frosting dripping off the top. "It definitely got a little melted."

 

"Thanks, I guess," Bruce replied.

 

"Pepper?" The host prompted.

 

"I thought it sounded really delicious, but I have to agree with what Maria said. It was dry and burnt and your frosting, although quite yummy, was melted."

 

"Thank you, Lady Potts." Thor nodded with a somewhat crest-fallen smile.

 

"Tony?" The host continued down the line.

 

"Not the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth," Tony remarked. "Definitely not the best."

 

"I'm almost afraid to ask but, what's the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth?" Bruce asked tentatively.

 

"I can't say that on television," Tony replied.

 

"Okay!" The host cringed. "Rhodey, what did you think?"

 

Rhodey shrugged. "I think everyone basically summed it up. I don't think there's really anything else to say."

 

"Fair enough," the host replied. "Let's see what Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver have for us."

 

Stage hands quickly swapped out the plates in front of the judges and the cameramen zoomed in to watch them taste the cakes. Each judge began to slowly unwrap the cupcakes on their plates and cut into them with the silverware provided (except for Tony who stuck with eating it directly out of the wrapper).

 

"We made the cake using crushed Crunch Berry cereal," Wanda explained as the judges ate. "Then we made a buttercream with Viniq."

 

"I'm really impressed with this," Maria began. "The flavors go together really well. The only thing I would have liked was a bit of fresh fruit or something just because I feel like this cupcake was almost _too_ artificial."

 

"Honestly," Pepper added, "I hadn't heard of Viniq before."

 

"Neither had we," Wanda replied and the ladies laughed together.

 

"But wow! I was really surprised with the flavors as well. Very nice."

 

Everyone was silent then and the host nodded to Tony, barely containing an expression of anxiety. "What did you think Mr. Stark?"

 

"Good," Tony replied, licking icing from his index finger.

 

"Is that it?" Rhodey was regarding him with a raised brow.

 

"Yeah, why? Should I drop another sexual innuendo?"

 

"Please, no," the host interjected. "This is a family program."

 

"It's on cable," Tony muttered under his breath.

 

"I thought the cake was lovely." Rhodey's voice was loud enough to cover up Tony's mumblings. "Really good stuff, guys."

 

The twins nodded as a sign of thanks while the next cupcakes were being set up.

 

"Okay!" The host was trying to maintain an upbeat personality but his face was seriously crestfallen as he regarded the next plates. "Cap, would you like to talk about what you've made for us today?"

 

_The final cut featured a luxurious pan across their cake featuring buttercream frosting dripping down the sides and pooling near the bottom._

 

"We're not being judged on appearance, right?" Bucky asked quietly, managing to hold back his laughter but still cracking a small smile.

 

"What we've made for you today is a vanilla cupcake. We used the cinnamon candies in there and Fireball," Steve explained.

 

"I'm a little scared," Tony said, prodding the cake with his fork. "Someone else tell me if it's safe."

 

"You don't have to be mean about it," Pepper chided as she scooped some cake into her mouth. She pressed her free hand to her lips and swallowed forcefully.

 

"Oh come on! Is it really that bad?" Steve asked. Bucky was struggling to keep his laughter bottled up.

 

Tony coughed from his seat. "Wow on one hand I'm disgusted. On the other, I'm actually really glad that there is _something_ you're not good at. It's bittersweet moment for me."

 

"I love food," Rhodey began, "I'll probably eat just about anything. But I draw a hard line at raw cake. Which is what you two have served up today."

 

Bucky's laugh was throaty and loud (Wanda, who was standing beside him, jumped in surprise).

 

"Yeah sorry guys," Maria began. "I have to agree but the frosting, although y'know…melted, isn't so bad. If you had done a better job with the cake itself you might have been strong contenders here."

 

Steve nodded, playfully looking crestfallen. "Thank you."

 

"Okay! Let's see what the next team has for us," the host said, nodding to cue Sam and Natasha to begin presenting.

 

"Tough act to follow." Natasha was smirking confidently. _The camera panned to show their cupcake sporting a perfect buttercream swirl. The crushed candies atop glittered in the heavy studio lighting._

 

 _"_ We were also inspired by Ultron and we've made for you a rich chocolate cake with a cinnamon filling and coffee buttercream topped with crushed cinnamon candy." Sam smiled and nodded to the judges. "Please enjoy."

 

"Oh wow!" Maria cupped a hand over her mouth as she finished chewing and swallowing her bite. "This is amazing."

 

"It's kind of like a drink you'd get at a Starbucks but in cupcake form," Tony remarked as he peeled away more of the paper cup to get to the cake.

 

"There's a lot of cinnamon in here," Pepper remarked. "Which, if you like cinnamon, is fantastic! But for me, I'm not sure how I feel about it."

 

Rhodey flashed them a thumbs up as he wiped his mouth.

 

"Do any of the judges have anything more to say?" the host pried.

 

The four looked at each other, each shaking their head.

 

"Great! Bakers, please exit the kitchen while the judges make their final decision."

 

Stage hands appeared out of thin air to hustle the superheroes into a brightly colored room off to the side of the studio. "Well, congrats everyone," Steve said, making his way over to a couch to take a seat. "See you all in the next round!"

 

"Okay, Bruce and Thor made a couple of…execution errors," Natasha began.

 

"We took the power out for a good half an hour, but go on," Bruce interjected.

 

"That doesn't mean you won't necessarily make it to the next round," Natasha finished.

 

"We should've said we were using a raw batter filling, that woulda sold it," Bucky muttered, taking a seat beside Steve.

 

Pietro flopped back into an easy chair and Sam nodded in his direction. "Nice work, man. I didn't think we were gonna have a lot of competition today."

 

Pietro laughed. "If I knew you were going to be polite with me I wouldn't have sabotaged you two."

 

While the contestants chattered away in the other room the judges were left to debate. "I think we know who's going to be in the final round," Tony said, leaning forward to rest his elbow on the table and cup his chin in his palm. "I think we should cut the two losers right now."

 

"That isn't how the competition works," the host replied flatly.

 

"Okay, yeah, but you're not the one who's got to taste the rejects," Tony mumbled.

 

"So it's between Thor and Bruce and James and Steve," Pepper said, focusing the discussion back on course.

 

"Are we supposed to be using code names?" Rhodey asked from his end of the table. "Just wondering. I mean they were introduced as code names and I'm not sure the general public knows them on a first name basis."

 

"No I see what you're saying, you're right." Pepper looked to the host. "Sorry about that."

 

"All this can be edited out," the host gestured widely with his hand. "Don't worry about that. I just need you all to agree on a decision."

 

"Thor and Bruce," Pepper said. "I think St-Cap and the Winter Soldier," she spoke uncertainly, "could have made it work if they had more time."

 

"I agree," Maria replied. "But I really thought Thor and Bruce really had some creativity there. Key lime? That wasn't something I was expecting from them."

 

"Okay. Was I the only one who had raw cake?" Rhodey asked, turning to face the other judges. "A little burnt is nothing compared to completely raw."

 

"The cake wasn't just _a little_ burnt and Cap's cake wasn't _completely_ raw," Tony pointed out.

 

"I think another round of competition for Bruce isn't going to be good," Pepper interjected.

 

"That is a _very_ good point." Maria nodded. "They've got to go."

 

"So…" the host began, "Are we saying Bruce and Thor need to go? Is that your decision?"

 

The judges exchanged looks (and Rhodey sighed heavily) before the four of them nodded.

 

"Great! Let's bring the bakers back."

 

The heroes filed into the room again and the camera people quickly zoomed to find their angles.

 

"The judges have made their decision," the host addressed the teams. "It came down to figuring out if over-baking was as big of a crime as under-baking."

 

* * *

 

_"Ah sh(censoring tone)." Steve rolled his eyes. "We're going home for sure."_

 

_Bucky shook his head and regarded his baking partner with a little smile before turning back to the interviewer. "You know what, I don't have any regrets. We really gave it our all today."_

 

_Steve let out a thunderous laugh and Bucky joined in quietly. "Oh yeah we really-" Steve was struggling to speak between breathing and laughing. "We really put in one hundred and ten percent."_

 

_The following exchange did not make it into the final cut of the show:_

 

_"We're going to throw a couple of bucks to that charity,though. Right?" Bucky asked quietly. The two were detaching their mics and winding the cords up. They were unaware that the camera in front of them was still rolling._

 

_"Of course," Steve replied. "May not be the big money we would have won but it'll be something."_

 

_"Good."_

 

* * *

 

"I'm sorry but, Bruce and Thor, you two are going home today."

 

The camera flashed to show Bucky and Steve exchange a genuinely startled look before cutting to show Bruce nodding solemnly while Thor beamed at the other people in the room. "It was an honor to compete alongside friends!"

 

The two made their way off stage and Bruce stopped in front of the host. "Is there somewhere I can wait out this whole thing?" Bruce asked quietly.

 

"Uh- there's the lobby downstairs." The host was clearly confused.

 

"Thanks." He glanced back at Tony before addressing the host again. "He's my ride."

 

* * *

 

"Okay cupcake makers!" The host was doing a pretty good job at appearing excited and jovial, but underneath his voice was an unmistakable tension. "For this round you will have ninety minutes to bake us three different cupcakes of your choice. You will be judged on taste, but also appearance. Keep the theme of the event in mind when you're baking and decorating. Your time begins…Now!"

 

Camera men jogged over to each station to cover the action. "This is Tony we're baking for," Natasha began. "It's gotta be decadent and fancy, but I think we should also use alcohol for these cupcakes. You know, to be safe."

 

"Sounds like you've got something in mind," Sam replied, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter.

 

"I know for a fact Pepper really likes Strawberries," Natasha began.

 

"Okay, what about a Daiquari themed cake?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

 

"Yeah! The cake itself could have the Daiquiri ingredients in it and maybe a citrus-y frosting?"

 

"Okay and for the second one? What about Champagne?" Sam suggested.

 

"Fancy and alcoholic." Natasha smirked. "Sounds perfect."

 

"That one will be pretty easy. We'd just be throwing champagne into a basic mix." Sam stooped down to retrieve cupcake trays from underneath their work station. "The judges liked our coffee-chocolate thing, how about we serve that up again."

 

"So like…a mudslide?" Natasha asked.

 

"Exactly like a mudslide.."

 

"Sounds good! I'll start on the champagne batter and you can start with the Mudslide batter," Natasha said as she started to set up the mixer.

 

"Hold on." Sam grinned. "Now it kinda sounds like _you're_ telling me what to do."

 

Natasha returned his smile and batted her eyelashes dramatically. "Oh pretty, pretty please would you start on the mudslide batter?" She spoke in a high-pitched sing-songy voice. The two grin at each other for a moment before Sam mumbles a _whatever_ under his breath and shakes his head.

 

* * *

 

"He said keep the theme in mind." Bucky was chewing on the inside of his cheek. "But what the hell _is_ the theme?"

 

"Well, it's Tony's party, so I would assume the theme is Tony Stark." Steve laughed loudly while Bucky smiled and shook his head.

 

"We can't have Tony Stark flavored cupcakes," Bucky pointed out.

 

Steve glanced around his friend to he station beside theirs before whispering, "Hey, where's Quicksilver?"

 

Wanda was at their station, pulling out the necessary materials, but her brother was nowhere to be seen. A second later there was a sharp breeze and Pietro appeared, it seemed, out of thin air.

 

"Fishy," Bucky muttered.

 

The twins' heads were bowed and their backs were to them. There didn't seem to be a camera man in their area. Steve and Bucky exchanged a look. "What are they looking at?" Steve craned his neck, hoping to get a better look.

 

"I dunno," Bucky replied, squinting at the two.

 

* * *

 

"That looks simple enough," Pietro muttered. He used his right index finger to scroll through an article pulled up on the smart phone in his left hand.

 

"What looks simple enough?" Steve called from his station.

 

"Keep your voice down." Quicksilver waved the two of them off.

 

"Keep our voices down for what?" Bucky replied, grinning.

 

Wanda pressed a finger to her lips and glanced over to the judges table.

 

"Is something happening back there?" Maria picked up on the commotion.

 

"Everything is fine!" Pietro called back.

 

A camera man strolled over, aiming his camera carefully at the two pairs.

 

Nobody noticed Pietro disappear because he reappeared a split second later. He winked in the direction of his competitors and nodded to a piece of paper on their workstation counter top. Steve stepped forward to pick up the paper and glance over it.

 

"What is it?" Bucky whispered, leaning over Steve's shoulder.

 

"Recipes," Steve replied quietly. "Three of them." He looked up to see the camera man idly filming the siblings' station. Wanda was stooped down and setting materials out on the counter.

 

"Are we…good?" Pietro asked, addressing the other pair.

 

They exchanged a glance and Bucky shrugged. "We never weren't."

 

"You can't be serious?" Steve hissed, glancing from the recipes to Bucky's face. "We came here to prove you're a good person. Trustworthy. And now you want to cheat?"

 

"I want to even the playing field a little," Bucky replied, nodding to the other two stations. "Nat and Sam clearly know what they're doing and the wonder twins have got a bunch of tricks up their sleeves, so why not?"

 

Steve shook his head and quickly ripped up the paper in his hands. "Come on let's get to work."

 

* * *

 

The clock at the back of the room read seventy five in daunting red numbers. "Taste test?" Nat asked scooping out a bit of batter onto a plastic spoon.

 

"Trade you." Sam did the same and the two swapped spoons. "Okay, yeah. This could work." Sam nodded as he licked the spoon clean.

 

"Loving the mudslide," Natasha replied, tossing her spoon into the industrial sized trash can next to their station. The two then quickly portioned out the batter using scoops and soon two trays of cupcakes were being slid into the oven. "We should do pink champagne cupcakes. For the presentation portion of the score, you know? We would just need a little food coloring to go into the batter and frosting."

 

"Sounds good. Do you wanna get started on that while I whip up the frosting for the Daiquiri cakes. You said we're going citrus for that?"

 

"I was thinking lime," Natasha shrugged as she started assembling batter in the mixing bowl in front of her.

 

* * *

 

"S'mores going in!" Wanda slid a tray into the oven and turned to her brother. "How is the apple pie?"

 

He grinned at her, "Almost done!"

 

She lingered at the oven for a moment before walking over to stand next to him. She picked up ingredients from the table and passed them to her brother, their voices were drowned out by the mixer's motor. "Are you sure the internet recipes are going to taste good?" Wanda's voice was low and she glanced about to ensure no one was eves-dropping.

 

"They all had at least four stars," her brother replied as he gently cracked an egg into their batter. "Besides the flavors themselves are inspired by classic desserts. The judges will love them."

 

"How are we going to decorate?" Wanda chewed the inside of her cheek. "Appearance is half of the score."

 

"Don't worry!" Pietro nudged her with an elbow. "I am about finished here. Why don't you get started on the chocolate brownie, hmm?"

 

* * *

 

"Isn't this boring?" Bucky scrunched his nose as he added vanilla extract to the mix in front of him.

 

"We're going to be simple with our flavors," Steve explained, "But we're going overboard with decorations." He wiped sweat from the side of his face with the back of his arm. His large hands were busily molding fondant.

 

"We're going to put a vanilla cupcake out there and call it gourmet." Bucky laughed loudly.

 

"Do you have a better idea?"

 

Bucky groaned and made his way over to the pantry and began scanning the shelves. He returned with an armful of oranges. "Huh?" He lifted one up to Steve's face. "Sounds good right? We can dress it up too. What was the ice cream pop you bought me the other day?"

 

Steve laughed softly, remembering their run in with an ice cream truck in mid-July. "It was a creamsicle."

 

"Orange creamsicle cupcake." Bucky was grinning now. "Sounds pretty damn gourmet to me." Steve rolled his eyes and continued working.

 

* * *

 

"Thirty minutes have passed!" The host announced loudly. "You have one hour left!"

 

Natasha easily slid the metal trays into the oven. Three sets of cupcakes were basking in the artificial light inside. "How are we decorating?" She asked moving to stand next to Sam at the counter. He was starting the frosting for the champagne cupcakes.

 

"I was thinking for the daiquiri cupcake we could make a straw outta that fondant stuff and stick it in the top. Maybe pop a fresh strawberry up there too." He dumped ingredients into the mixer as he spoke.

 

"Okay, for the champagne ones I really like how those little edible pearls look. Do you know which ones I'm talking about?"

 

"No, not really," Sam replied, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm. "But I trust your judgement. I think our stuff tastes good enough that, as long as you're not decorating our cupcake with arsenic, we're going to win this thing."

 

He didn't look up to see Natasha's smile.

 

* * *

 

"So…I'm not sure the theme's ice cream," Steve said. He had finished molding fondant into what he hoped resembled an orange creamcicle.

 

"We are going to look so much more put together if all of our cakes have something in common," Bucky said, sliding a second tray into their oven. This one sported pink batter.

 

"Forty-five minutes! You are halfway through!" the host called and the two exchanged a frantic glance. They only had one tray in the oven.

 

"Okay, I trust you." Steve moved to set up the second mixer.

 

Next to their station, the twins were carefully pulling cupcakes out of the oven. "These go in the chiller?" Pietro asked. Wanda nodded without looking up from the mixer she was supervising and two seconds later he was by her side and the blast chiller was filled with their cakes.

 

"How are we decorating?" he mused as he started to set up the second mixer.

 

His sister shrugged. "I suppose just using sprinkles will have us thrown out of the competition."

 

Pietro laughed. "If only it were that simple."

 

"Those two are using that edible clay to make decorations." She nodded to Steve and Bucky who were wildly scrambling around their station.

 

"Do we really want to be following what those two are doing?" Pietro raised a brow and Wanda elbowed him in the ribs, but she couldn't help but smile.

 

* * *

 

"How do we think everyone's doing this round?" the host was leaning up on the judges table and glancing around the room.

 

"The twins are definitely up to something," Maria murmured nodding to the two.

 

"Makes for interesting TV." Tony sounded bored.

 

"I'm surprised at the bits of conversation that I'm hearing from Cap's station," Pepper added. "It sounds like they're really trying to improve for this round in terms of complex flavors. Hopefully they can pull it off."

 

"Are we not going to talk about how ridiculously efficient Sam and Nat are, right now?" Rhodey asked, jabbing a thumb in their direction. "They are _way_ in the lead right now. I think they might even have time to spare when this is all over."

 

* * *

 

As the competition continued, tension grew and each contestant became gradually more sweaty and frantic. At one point, Steve skidded on a wet spot on the floor and in his rush to grip onto the counter to steady himself, he ended up knocking over a mixing bowl. A second later, he was sitting on the ground, covered in orange frosting and scowling up at Bucky who was in hysterics.

 

"If those two could sing and dance they'd be a God (censoring tone) Vaudeville act," Tony muttered from the judges table.

 

"Tony," Pepper hissed.

 

"Fifteen minutes remaining!" The host shouted.

 

The frantic work within the kitchen reached a crescendo. It seemed as though each pair was communicating with each other at the highest volume possible. Everyone was shouting across the three feet of kitchen space at their partners.

 

_How are our decorations looking?_

 

_Is that frosting finished yet?_

 

_We're screwed._

 

There was an exceptionally loud string of curses as Steve managed to rip one of the trays from the oven with his bare hands.

 

Time was slipping by at a rate that seemed unnatural. Fifteen minutes turned to ten, which in turn became five. In order to finish their cakes and decorations, Wanda and Pietro were not even bothering to be subtle with their powers. Pietro was disappearing from his station and reappearing at the pantry while Wanda bewitched a bag of icing to frost their cakes by itself while she adjusted decorations.

 

* * *

 

The end of the round found the three pairs in front of the judges table each looking somewhat nervous (Nat's poker face remained impenetrable, however). The host eyed the group of superheroes as he tried to maintain his television friendly personality. "For this challenge you were instructed to make three different cupcakes that showcase your talents as bakers. You are being judged on both taste and presentation. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, what have you made for us today?"

 

"Well, Mister Stark is an all-American man," Pietro began. "So we decided to make some all-American dessert cupcakes. The first is a s'mores cupcake. We used graham crackers in the batter and put marshmallow buttercream on top with those little marshmallows and some chocolate. " The camera zoomed over their first cake showing the perfect white swirl atop the browned cake. The mini marshmallows had been pressed into the frosting and thin lines of chocolate covered the cake. "Our second cake," Wanda started, "Is an apple pie cake. We made a crust and then put the batter into the crust to bake. The batter itself is flavored with apples and cinnamon." The camera panned over the cupcake as she spoke. "It is topped with caramel syrup and whipped cream." The last cupcake was a decadent looking chocolate cake topped with a delicate swirl of buttercream and a maraschino cherry. "The last cupcake is a brownie ala mode cupcake," Pietro explained. "Without the icecream."

 

"So a brownie," Tony clarified.

 

"Well, technically-"

 

"It's a brownie, dude," Rhody added.

 

"Okay, a brownie. The cake is chocolate, the frosting is vanilla, and it is topped with a cherry."

 

The judges began to taste test. "These two, the apple pie and the s'mores, really blew me away. I think it was really creative to bake the cupcake in the pie crust. My only complaint is that the crust itself is a little over-done. It's bordering on burnt." Pepper nodded at this comment.

 

"But, this third cupcake," Pepper began, "The brownie ala mode? It didn't have the same thought and creativity I think as the other two."

 

"I agree, it definitely fell a little flat. I was expecting your third and final cupcake to be something mind blowing but instead I just got…this." Rhodey held up the half eaten cake in his hand. "Don't get me wrong, it's tasty. I'd eat it. But, it just isn't really creative."

 

"The decorations were boring," Tony said bluntly. "This is a party thrown by yours truly, and I don't think you really captured my essence. Like at all."

 

"Dude, why would I want to be eating a cupcake with your essence in it?" Rhodey teased.

 

"I'll have you know I have never gotten complaints about my ess-"

 

"Okay!" the host interrupted their exchange. "Thank you."

 

The twins nodded in reply. The host then turns his attention to Steve and Bucky. "And what has team America made for us?"

 

"Our theme for today is icecream. Because it's summer?" Bucky said unsurely. "There's an orange creamsicle cupcake that's topped with a fondant orange popcicle." The camera panned over the cupcake, which looked somewhat rushed, but still leaps and bounds more appetizing than their first round endeavor. "Then there's the Strawberry…cream cupcake with a strawberry…on the top."

 

"Absolutely groundbreaking," Tony muttered under his breath.

 

"The last is a Banana Split cupcake with a banana flavored cake. It's got strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla buttercream frosting and it's topped with a cherry."

 

"If anyone else came to the judge's table with these cakes, I'd be disappointed, but after what we saw in the first round," Maria said with a laugh, "I think these are pretty damn okay."

 

"They are a little artificial tasting to me," Pepper added. "Not so much the orange one, but the other two, definitely. But the cake is cooked all the way through so I'm just feeling relieved."

 

Tony managed to speak with a mouthful of cupcake. "This stuff is pretty edible. Nice one."

 

"Nothing to write home about, but also not actively putting me in the emergency room," Rhodey finished.

 

Bucky's head was hung to hide his face as he actively tried to repress a grin. Steve on the other hand was laughing at the judges' feedback. "Thanks, guys."

 

"And finally, what have you two made for us?" The host sounded exhausted at this point, but his face was still pulled into a tight, camera-friendly smile.

 

"So, when we were thinking about the theme, we wanted to incorporate fun, alcoholic beverages into our cupcakes," Natasha explained.

 

"We've got a Strawberry Daquari cupcake, a Pink champagne cupcake, and a mudslide cupcake for you today," Sam added.

 

"Is that all you're giving us to go on?" Rhodey teased.

 

"I think these cupcakes speak for themselves," Sam replied.

 

"Wow!" Maria's eyes widened as she finished her bite of the daiquiri began to unwrap the champagne cupcake. "The flavors you used in thisdaiquiri cupcake really compliment each other without feeling artificial at all!"

 

"We did use some _real_ fruit," Sam said as he leaned forward to smirk at Steve and Bucky. Both rolled their eyes in response.

 

"I love this pink champagne cupcake!" Pepper said, beaming. "And these decorations are delightful."

 

Tony merely gave a thumbs up in response while Rhodey wiped his mouth with a napkin. "You were right, man. These cakes do speak for themselves."

 

Sam nodded and the ghost of a smile pulled at Natasha's lips. "Alright bakers, head on backstage while these judges make the decision."

 

* * *

 

Clips of the judges debating would be edited in with interviews with the contestants later on.

 

_"Whatever happens, we didn't get eliminated in round one and I think that's all that matters." Steve beamed at the camera with Bucky at his side looking significantly less surly than he did at the beginning of the competition._

_**x** _

_"Let's get it out in the open," Maria began, "Steve and Bucky are not strong competitors here."_

 

_"Still thrilled that there is something Steve's not good at," Tony said, leaning back in his chair, and looking smug._

_**x** _

_"Yeah, first thing I'm doing when we win this thing is calling my mom," Sam said, grinning widely. "She's gonna be so excited. She loves this show." He looked over to find Natasha looking at him with a strange expression on her face. "What?"_

 

_She shook her head and laughed, diverting her eyes to look at the camera. "Nothing. I think that's sweet."_

_     **x** _

_Pietro lounged on the brightly colored sofa. "Yeah, I suppose I am looking forward to the next round."_

 

_"This competition has been going on for a while now," Wanda added. "I did not realize this was going to be an all day commitment."_

 

_"Why? Did you have some place to be?" Pietro teased and she shoved his shoulder playfully._

 

_"It's just we have been standing around a kitchen that smells so good and we have not been able to eat anything. It is frustrating."_

 

_       **x** _

 

_"So we've agreed? We know who's moving onto the final round?" The host asked the judges table, the competition clearly weighing on him. The four nodded in unison. "Alright! Bring back the bakers!"_

 

* * *

 

The teams stood in front of the judges table once more. The host pulled the corners of his mouth up to give them a smile. "Unfortunately, only two teams can advance to the next round. Now, we had some decorations that were a little too underwhelming for Mr. Stark. But, the biggest issue here today was artificial taste and overall lack of creativity."

 

"Ouch," Bucky muttered.

 

"Sorry, Team America. You're done in the cupcake war."

 

A camera man followed the two as they left the stage and their final interview would be edited in later. Steve and Bucky were seated together on the designated couch. _"Yeah, I think we really brought our A game today. Sometimes you put in one hundred and fifty percent and you just don't come out on top." Steve's speech would be edited over slow-motion footage of the egg incident._

 

_"Am I going to continue baking?" Bucky pretended to ponder the question. "Probably…not?"_

 

_"Yeah, I think staying out of the kitchen would be best for everyone involved," Steve added._

 

* * *

 

"For the final round your challenge will be to bake one thousand cupcakes and design a display that perfectly represents the theme for Tony's event," the host explained.

 

"Okay, but what exactly is the theme?" Sam asked. "Has someone actually said it at some point? Did I miss that?"

 

"The theme is: Me," Tony replied. "Duh."

 

"Yeah, okay, still not sure what that means," Sam grumbled under his breath.

 

"He means he wants the display to be a life size model of himself," Natasha replied, just loud enough for him to hear.

 

Sam was able to disguise his laugh as a cough. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

 

"We've brought in a whole team for each of you to help you whip up those cupcakes. And, we've got two very special carpenters to help bring your display ideas to life!"

 

Natasha burst out laughing as Clint Barton and Scott Lang sauntered in sporting matching flannel button downs. The host shot her a confused and annoyed glance before speaking. "You will have two hours. Your time starts…now!"

 

Natasha motioned Clint over and he jogged to their station. "Hey guys, what're we thinking today."

 

"We were thinking we want the display to be a life size replica of Tony…ooh maybe have it be like an iron man suit," Natasha was talking a mile a minute.

 

"You could have the front look like iron man and the back be little shelves for the cupcakes. Or it could split down the middle and open up a little and have shelves on the inside."

 

"Nice, nice, good stuff," Clint said as he quickly rolled out a piece of construction paper and began to doodle out a rough design.

 

Meanwhile, at Wanda and Pietro's stations, there was a lot more confusion. "What kind of carpentry experience did you say you had?" Pietro asked, eyeing up Scott's rough sketch.

 

"Oh, uh, yeah. Absolutely none. Honestly, I'm just happy to be here," Scott replied as he struggled to draw the outline of what was supposed to be Avenger's tower.

 

"That looks like a-" Wanda began.

 

"I know-" Scott interrupted her, somewhat loudly, "It kinda looks like a penis. I know. But trust me, once it's actually built it will look a lot better."

 

"I hope you know what you are doing," Pietro said, his eyes narrowing at Scott.

 

"Yeah, me too."

 

\----

 

The last round was utter chaos. "No! No! That's too much Strawberry in the batter!

 

"Good God, this frosting is like cement. Why is this frosting like cement?"

 

"Don't light those in here! You're going to set the fire alarm off!"

 

Pietro would disappear for minutes at a time and return looking flustered and upset. It would later be revealed that he would run off to unsuccessfully micro-manage Scott who was attempting to put together their display.

 

Someone spilled on the floor. Pietro slipped and fell in it. "That was a purposeful sabotage!" he argued with the host who abandoned his TV-friendly personality to roll his eyes. After reviewing the footage it was revealed that it was in fact Pietro who spilled on the floor.

 

"Is anyone else feeling really, really nervous?" Rhodey asked, leaning forward to address the entire judges table.

 

"This has my heart pounding and I'm not even the one competing," Pepper replied.

 

"It's probably a fear reaction because we're going to have to eat whatever these (censored) holes feed us," Tony said grumpily before muttering, "I knew I should have just hired a caterer like everybody else…"

 

"Thirty minutes remaining!" The host announced. At the moment, Clint and a couple of stage hands brought in Natasha and Sam's display.

 

"Nice!" Sam cried when he saw the life size iron man shelving unit.

 

"I took the liberty of rigging up some real lights in there," Clint explained as he flicked a switch causing the iron man suit's eyes and arc reactor to light up. "You're welcome."

 

"Thank you, Clint," Natasha said in the same breath as, "Time to load him up."

 

Five minutes later, Scott stumbled in with the twins' display. "I did it!" he cried. "Look I did it!"

 

The camera panned over for a close up on Wanda who grimaced. "No time to fix it, we need to move."

 

* * *

 

The final round found the four contestants standing in front of the judges looking as though they had survived a natural disaster. Everyone was covered in something, whether it be flour, frosting, or in Pietro's case, the mystery liquid he had managed to both spill and slip in.

 

"Alright," the host said, eyeing both displays. "Wonder twins, let's hear about your display."

 

Wanda cleared her throat before looking back at the monstrosity behind her. It was like someone had taken a large refrigerator box and spray painted it silver. Contrary to what Scott had promised, the display was in fact, penis shaped. "Our…vision was a replica of Avenger's tower. The base…as you can see…is lined with shelves for the cupcakes. We changed our third cupcake entirely opting for a cinnamon roll cupcake with cream cheese frosting. As for decoration, each different cake has a sparkler put in for some over the top-" Suddenly one of the sparklers had ignited the shabby display and it began to burn.

 

A crew of stage hands swarmed them armed with fire extinguishers and within minutes, the charred remains of the display stood covered with foam.

 

"Wow." The host had managed to tear his eyes from the scene to address Sam and Natasha. "Tell us about your display."

 

"We have a life size Iron Man display," Natasha explained. "It really lights up and everything. We figured it fits the theme pretty well."

 

"Agreed," Tony said from the judge's table.

 

"Well, this has never happened before," the host said unsurely. "I guess because only one display…survived, they are the automatic winners tonight."

 

"But that showman ship!" Tony argued, gesturing to the twins' decimated display.

 

"Tony," Pepper said warningly.

 

"The brash expression of creativity!"

 

"Tony, c'mon," Rhodey said from his other side.

 

"Fine," Tony mumbled before sitting down. "I can't believe they censored _me_ but they still let that thing slide." He gestured to the genital-shaped display.

 

* * *

 

 

_Sam and Natasha were sitting side by side on the couch, a polite distance between them. "First thing, so excited that we could raise that money for Saint Jude's today," Sam said, grinning. "But you know, completely burning the competition was pretty cool too."_

 

_Natasha turned to look at him. "I'm hungry, do you wanna get out of here and grab something to eat."_

 

_Sam turned to her and nodded, still grinning. "Yeah, alright. I could eat."_

 

* * *

 

 

_Scott was wedged between Wanda and Pietro on the couch that was clearly only large enough for two. "It would have been nice to help out back home," Wanda said, looking somewhat crestfallen. "But, I think we were strong competitors. We really gave it our best."_

 

_"Hey, look, in my defense, I told them that I'm not good at this sort of thing," Scott said, his voice filled with guilt. "I'm really sorry about you losing today, guys."_

 

_Pietro shrugged. "Ah, well. We had fun today, I suppose. That is what matters."_

 

_"Yes, and we made it to the final round," Wanda added._

 

_"It's supposed to be a surprise..." a voice said from off screen and the three looked toward it. "But, the producers are donating the money to everyone's charities. Regardless of winners or losers."_

 

_The interview cut in the middle of the twins' celebration._

* * *

 

"Okay, now, wake up." Tony delicately shook Bruce's shoulder. He had passed out in one of the luxurious leather armchairs in the lobby. His head rolled to one side and his mouth hung open. "Time to go big guy."

 

Bruce jolted awake and Tony recoiled slightly. He checked his watch before looking up at him. "That took _hours_."

 

"Yeah…sorry about that." Tony grimaced.

 

"Shoulda caught a ride with Thor," Bruce mumbled as he allowed Tony to help him up.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the dick jokes y'all


End file.
